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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Stop arguing with me!

Lately, I've had this reoccurring thought:  I wish I was three so I could know everything.  Clearly, three is the magical age where you know all there is to know about life and the world.  How do I know this?  Gavin told me.

As always, he's full of questions.  Why is it dark?  Why is that the moon?  Why is the sun going down?  Why is it December?  Why isn't it snowing?  These days, however, it seems he only asks me questions so he can argue with my answer.

Gavin: Mommy, who ripped open all of the presents under the tree?
Me:  Arnie.
Gavin:  No, I think it was Danion.
Me:  No, it was Arnie.
Gavin:  No, I think Danion did that.
Me:  It was Arnie.  Stop arguing with me.

Me:  Gavin, don't forget that tomorrow is show-and-tell.
Gavin:  No, show-and-tell was today.
Me:  No, today is Wednesday.  Tomorrow is Thursday.  Thursday is show-and-tell.
Gavin:  Today was show-and-tell.  Today is Friday, Momma.
Me:  Today is Wednesday.  I'd be in a much better mood if it was Friday.  Show-and-tell is tomorrow.  Stop arguing with me.

Gavin:  Where do we live?
Me: In our house.
Gavin:  No, we live on Earth.
Me:  Touche.
Gavin:  Huh?
Me:  Never mind.

Gavin:  Momma, I want to go to your work.
Me:  You've been to my work.
Gavin:  No, you never took me.
Me:  Yes, I did.  It was a little while ago, but I took you.
Gavin:  No!  You never took me!
Me:  Yes, I did.  Stop arguing with me.

Gavin:  I want to put on shorts.
Me:  You can't wear shorts.  It's freezing.
Gavin:  It's not freezing.
Me:  Yes, it is.  It's like 25 degrees outside.
Gavin:  It's not cold, Mommy.
Me:  You're nuts, and you're not wearing shorts.  Stop arguing with me.

Obviously, he knows more than I do.  I'm clearly confused about the days of the week.  I can't remember when show-and-tell is.  I fabricated a story about letting him come to my work.  I cannot tell the difference between hot and cold. And, I seem to have magically invented the fact that The Beagle loves to tear up wrapping paper more than he loves to lick my furniture incessantly.

It's a good thing I have Gavin to straighten me out.  At this point, I'm thinking why even bother sending him to school.  He already knows all there is to know.  Maybe he can just get a job instead.


  1. Usually you do not get stupid until your children hit their teens. Apparently you are ahead of the curve. Maybe that means you will become smart again before they hit 24.

    Very funny post!

    Cranky Old Man

  2. I have the same problem with my 3 year old. It's making me crazy!!!

  3. LOL! My oldest was like this too. Like Cranky, I thought that disagreement thing wouldn't happen until the teen years. Some of us are lucky enough to experience it from preschool age and onward! This cracked me up though! :-)

  4. Very funny post...maybe because I don't have to answer those questions! He is a smart little guy and you will appreciate that wisdom when you are 80 and he is your financial planner (kidding...I think)

  5. This makes me want kids because it reminds me of how funny my little siblings used to be...and then they grew up and got annoying. Love this post! :D

  6. No worries mama, it only gets worse when he turns into a tween. One of my daughters habits is arguing with me, respectfully. Sometimes I wanna slap her upside her head and tell her to shut up. But I remember the bible verses I read on Christian parenting and exercise patience. Then I pray for the mean thoughts I had....dont judge me...

  7. They do know all they need to by 3. And then they somehow forget it all. And miraculously know more than you do again at around 12.
    Stopping by from Lovelinks ~

  8. Ohhhh Ohhhhh.....I have 3 of them that do this. Only problem is one is 10 and it has come at me times a million. He too has argued days of the week, however he is old enough I can point to a calendar and say SEE!!!!! Wish I could say it gets better but I am pretty sure it stays like this until they have kids of their own.

  9. Haha! My son is almost 6 and still does that. Fun, isn't it?

  10. Um, I feel like I commented on this, but I don't see it (????). Probably I read it and THOUGHT I commented, but didn't (which means I commented in my head). A does the same thing. He asks and argues, asks and argues. Maybe it's a sign that they're smart, free thinkers? That's what I say so I can go to bed at night.

  11. I know what this is like! My youngest is four now and still hasn't grown out of it. She thinks she can wear a bathing suit year round- no arguments from me or standin in a doorway to see how cold it is outside sways her.
    stopping by from lovelinks :)

  12. This is hilarious! My daughter was (and is - at 15) just like this! Good luck.

    Newest follower from lovelinks!

  13. My four year old has a lot in common with your three your old! Fun post!

  14. Hah, guess that starts pretty early, eh? I knew teenagers were that way, since I teach at the high school level, but as someone with no kids of my own yet, it's good to have a heads up on this one.

  15. This was great! You have well illustrated that us parents are all morons, and early on our children find it necessary to look after us so we survive! LOL Wonderful article.