Ads 468x60px

Thursday, April 26, 2012

It's not like it's rocket science . . .

I'm often amused by the articles I see flashing across the screen on sites like MSN.  Attention-grabbing headlines promise new and revolutionary information, but then you start reading, and you see that it's just more of the same old information being recycled in a different format.

The other day, I happened to see in the headlines an article entitled, "10 Reasons Why it's Hard to Lose Weight," or something similar to that.  Honestly?  Someone needed to write an article about why people have a hard time losing weight, as if this is ground-breaking, earth-shattering information that no one knew about until this very article was written, enlightening us all and forever changing the health of millions of people across this country?  Do people honestly not know why they have a hard time losing weight?  Because if they don't, let me offer some insight.

Reason #1: Donuts
People have a hard time losing weight because donuts are incredibly delicious.  So is cake.  And danishes.  And ice cream.  And brownies.  And cookies.  And pizza.  And hot wings.  And cheeseburgers.  On top of that, none of these things are very expensive to buy.  You can get cheap, deliciously unhealthy food everywhere.  And, you can disagree with me all you want, but there is no way a spinach salad will EVER taste better than a slice of New York style cheesecake with a chocolate crust that's been smothered in a delicious berry sauce.  Never ever.

Reason #2: Restaurants
I love going out to eat.  I actually enjoy cooking, but there's just something about the atmosphere of a restaurant that makes me feel all warm and cozy.  The biggest problem with eating out is that most places give you about two-and-a-half times the amount of food that any normal person should ever consume in one sitting (or in a single day for that matter).  On top of that, they usually give you bread, chips and salsa, or something else to eat BEFORE you even attempt to wrangle the elephant-sized portions of food they're about to serve you.  The worst part is that it usually tastes so good, you just want to keep eating . . . and eating . . . and eating until there is no way you could fit one more morsel in your mouth.  Now you're stuffed, and you're feeling quite ill, but damn was it good.

Reason #3: Too many channels to choose from
Most people would probably spend more time outside going for a walk, riding a bike, or playing with their kids, but it's hard to find the time when you have 12 new episodes of Glee to catch up on.  And, when you're done, you have 6 episodes of some other show, and 4 of another, and on and on.  (I honestly can't think of any more shows to name because I may be one of the rare few who don't actually watch TV unless it's sports . . . or Cupcake Wars . . . because cupcakes are delicious, too.)So many TV shows to watch, so little time.  And, let's be honest, it takes WAY less energy to plop your butt in front of a TV than it does to go for a walk.

So, if you want to lose weight (and I warn you - this is about to be EARTH-SHATTERING information), eat healthy, avoid things like donuts and cake whenever possible, and exercise.  I know this is new, and you'll need some time to process it, but I think it might just work if you try it.  I'm almost certain.  You're welcome.


  1. I quote the button on my refrigerator: "Eat Less, Move More." Easy as pie! Wait... there's pie???

  2. Sometimes I wonder why MSN wastes our time. It's amazing how many people seemed surprised by the fact that they can't eat a dozen donuts or a vat of spaghetti with garlic bread if they don't want to turn into a balloon. Love your take on it. Thanks for the laugh!