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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Oh, the Things They Will Say . . .

Kids say some incredibly hilarious things, and my child is no exception.  I find myself laughing almost hourly at some of the words and phrases that come out of his mouth.  Often, I hear him repeating expressions that I have used towards him.  A few months ago, my two-year-old niece stayed the night at our house.  Around 7:30 p.m., she became ill (i.e. puking all over the floor), and my sweet little guy covered her up with a blanket and said, "Are you feeling okay, baby?"  It was adorable, and it made me feel like, at least for that very minute, that I was in contention for Mom of the Year.  Look how sympathetic he is; how sweet!

Sometimes, he comes up with things all on his own that send me into an uncontrollable laughing fit.  Not that long ago, he looked at me in all seriousness and said, "Momma, your booty is kind of big."  Now, I might have been offended (How rude of him!) if he had not followed immediately with, "My booty is kind of big, too."  Alright, so what you're saying is that, comparatively speaking, my booty and your booty are the same size?  I'll take it!  In fact, I'll celebrate this fact by eating a bowl of ice cream!

My son is also very adept at making up stories.  There was the time he told me that his dad had chopped the dog's head off and then sewed it back on (He should really consider a career in veterinary surgery if he can perform those kinds of miracles at home!).  When I asked him why Daddy did that, he simply replied, "Because he did."  Good enough.  (And, animal activists, please note that no animals were actually hurt.  Just something my kid made up.  Really.  I checked the dog out; he's fine.) 

The other day, however, I was wondering at what point do I become concerned about some of the things he says?  Should I have been concerned when he took his straw out of his lemonade glass, held it up, and said, "Cheers with our beers, Mommy!"?  Or, should I have been concerned when he opened up the cooler on the boat and said, "Ice cold beer!  Who wants an ice cold beer!" baseball vendor style? (Yes, he's been to a few ball games lately.  This isn't something I run around the house saying all the time.)  Sure, it's cute to me, but at what point do I start expecting concerned phone calls from his preschool teacher?

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Probably the most concerning thing  is when I hear him repeating lines from his favorite movie, Toy Story.  It's cute when he walks around saying, "Run like the wind, Bullseye," or, "To infinity and beyond," but it starts to get a little sketchy when he repeats lines like, "Somebody poisoned the waterhole," which quickly progresses to, "Get out of here you stupid dog," and "I'm going to kill you, Buzz Light Year."  (I just want to briefly thank the creators of those movies for teaching my kid words like stupid and phrases like shut up.)  Sure, he's just repeating what they say in the movie, but I'm not really interested in a phone call from day care telling me he just threatened to "end" another kid.  Believe me, I get enough calls from day care.

So, as a parent, I often wonder when we've crossed the line from funny things he says to things I really shouldn't let him repeat.  I guess only time, and phone calls from day care, will tell.

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