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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Yes, I have a mom purse, but . . .

I've known for awhile that I am now an official Mom Purse carrier.  It's been that way since my son was born.  I'm not in denial about the fact that I now buy my purses based on size rather than looks.  And, I'm fine with it.  What strikes me as odd is just how excited I get about how much crap I can fit into it, and how much crap I really do carry around with me.

I can recount for you numerous times that I've been trying to find something in purse (usually my keys) in front of friends, colleagues, store clerks, family, waiters - pretty much anyone you can think of - only to see them watch in amazement at the collection of junk I extract from my purse.

"My credit card?  Oh, it's right here in my purse, hold on."  Now imagine as I begin pulling out various food items, toys, feminine products, beverages, books, etc.  "Really, I just had it.  It must have fallen to the bottom."  And, in their minds they're thinking, "Does this thing even have a bottom?  It's like a black hole.  Do you need a shovel?"

Just to give you a better understanding: Today, I was innocently looking for my keys in my purse.  In doing so, these are the items I removed from my purse: three Matchbox cars, two granola bars (peanut butter and chocolate chip), a Capri Sun, a Nalgene bottle half-full of water, two kinds of breath mints (I refuse to be the teacher with coffee breath), Bullseye, Woody (yes, I'm chuckling, too), my cell phone, my wallet, about three weeks worth of receipts and other miscellaneous garbage, napkins, an assortment of change, an apple (Golden Delicious, in case you're curious), sunglasses, three dollars, Gavin's toothbrush (don't ask because I don't even know), half of a piece of railroad track (pretty sure this is from the doctor's office), and two sets of keys (of course, they were the last things I found).

The contents of my purse earlier today.


 What I used to carry in my purse before I became a mom.

I'll admit, there was a brief point when I stopped and thought, "Wow.  I can't believe I have all of this stuff in my purse."  But, that thought was fleeting.  The truth is, most of this stuff is potentially life-saving.    Cranky toddler in the grocery store?  No problem, he's probably hungry.  Here's a granola bar, dear.  Ansty toddler in the doctor's office?  Piece of cake.  Here, Gavin, Mommy brought you cars.  Oh, you're bored with the cars?  It's okay, I brought Woody and Bullseye, too.  Thirsty toddler on a long drive home?  Got it covered.  Mommy has a Capri Sun in her purse

I could probably get myself out of almost any child-related jam with what I carry around in my purse.  Hell, I could most likely survive being stranded in the desert for weeks - living only off of the items in my purse.  So, when you see me in the store, digging through mounds and mounds of miscellaneous junk in an effort to find my debit card, go ahead and roll your eyes.  Shake your head, even.  It's fine with me.  Just don't ask me for a mint.

3 comments:

  1. Omg, first off, I love your blog. currently my purse has.... *goes and gets purse* a pen, wallet,my glasses, camera, keys, checks,(a calculator which is perfect for entertaining my 8 year old) crakers, 2 diapers, wipes, a cup of chereos, teethers, a pacifier, *hmm* a small plush christmas orniment, (ooh, and 1 toy car).
    so yea, Ive got a mom purse too. :)

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  2. Bahahahaha! You had woody in your purse.

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  3. This is so awesome. And so very true.

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