My Dog is Nuts. It's Only Getting Worse.

When I say my dog's insane, people think I'm being mean or over-exaggerating.  "But he's so cute, and you love him," they say.  Well, he is cute, and I do love him, but he's freaking nuts.  And really, what's not to love about a dog that lays under your bed for 2 hours, starting at 5 am, scratching and licking constantly?  Well, today, I discovered that his craziness is only getting worse.  But, don't you worry, I decided to document all of this with photos.  It's about to get all National Geographic up in here.

Reason #1:  He refuses to lay on the floor.  You know, like a dog.

What?  The floor?  Screw you!

Reason #2:  He licks incessantly.

Nothing like licking my paws for 45 minutes.

Oh, and of course, the vet said it was allergies then proceed to load Arnie up on steroids which only made him crazier (but at least he increased his batting average).

Reason #3:  He is afraid of non-carpeted flooring.

I'm just gonna stand here whining for 15 minutes until I decide to hurl my body across the flooring, which will make me slide and hopefully slam into the wall, thereby decreasing my fear of the floor.  Or not.

Just to add to the above list: He's afraid of his water bowl.  He won't eat if anyone is in the same room.  He's afraid to walk from the kitchen into the living (for reasons I cannot begin to fathom).  He acts like I'm torturing him if I make him go outside for more than 35 seconds (What do you think I am?  A dog?  Seriously, lady.).  In fact, he hates outside so much that he learned how to open the screen door (so now he can let himself and a million flies in whenever he wants!).  Now, I could write 15 pages on all the crazy things my dog does, but I have to get to the real point here.  His insanity is increasing quickly.  Lately, Arnie has been spending the majority of his time hiding out under my bed. I admit, I just chalked it up to him needing his Puppy Prozac increased. Today, I discovered the real reason:

9:00 am: Minding my own business.

9:01 am: But not for long.

9:03 am: Whew!  Safe under the bed.

9:07 am: I hear something.  I should check it out.

9:08 am: The coast looks clear.

9:09 am: What's this?  Cinnamon Toast Crunch?  For me?  Hooray!

9:09 am: Meanwhile . . . 

9:10 am: Oh shit!  There's a box flying at my head!

9:11 am:  Back to safety.  For now . . .

Now, don't worry.  Once I finished documenting all of this with my camera for the amusement of others, I quickly put an end to the lure-the-dog-out-with-food-and-then-scare-the-shit-out-of-him game.  And, I gave Arnie an extra doggy Valium just for good measure!

http://freefringes.com/2011/07/26/lovelinks-16-open/