Typical Conversation

Before we begin a thorough examination of a typical conversation that I have with Gavin, I would like to set the scene.  It is a hot and humid July afternoon, approximately two hours before dinner, and the temperature inside the house is a balmy 86 degrees.  Until it reaches 88 degrees, I refuse to turn the air conditioning on.  Why?  Self-inflicted suffering, perhaps.  Gavin has thoroughly destroyed the living room, scattering cars, blocks, and action figures so that they cover almost the entire surface of the carpet.  It is in this moment that I have the most brilliant idea.  I'm going to rearrange the furniture.  Yes, that's it!  I'll rearrange the living room!  

Imagine this times 10.

No big deal, right?  Just move a chair here, an end table here, and the couch over here.  Presto!  I'm done.  Or, I could decide to move every piece of furniture (i.e. a love seat, a couch, a chair, the entertainment center, and two end tables), and while I'm at it, why don't I just move the TV over here so that I have to rerun the cable under the basement ceiling.  Perfect!

I'd like to thank Arnie for his help.  Don't know how I would've done it without him.

So, in my complete-living-room-over-haul-frenzy (which I assume was caused by the fact that I had so many other, more important things I needed to be doing but didn't feel like doing them), this is the conversation I have with Gavin:

Gavin:  Mommy, can I have a piece of gum?

Me:  (Carrying an end table into the hallway) No.

Gavin:  Why?

Me:  Because you'll just swallow it.

Gavin:  I won't swallow it.

Me:  Yes, you will.  You always do.

Gavin:  I won't swallow it, Momma.  Please, Momma?

Me:  (Shoving couch closer to the far wall)  No.

(Ten seconds elapse. and at this point I've moved every piece of furniture into the middle of the room so that there is barely anywhere to walk. Toys are still covering every inch of carpet.  I'm starting to get sweaty.)

Gavin:  Mommy, can I have a piece of gum?

Me:  No.  (I look to see that he has found a piece of gum, unwrapped it, and is holding it in his hand while licking it.)

Gavin:  Please, Mommy?

Me:  Okay.  You can have that piece of gum after you pick up all of your toys.

Gavin:  (Kicks a car)  Now can I have this gum?

Me:  (Moving the end table to its third location) Are all your toys picked up?

Gavin:  Yes.  Look!

Me:  No, you need to pick up every toy before you can have that gum.

Gavin:  (Picks up one car).  Now can I have this gum?

Me:  No.  All your toys are not picked up.  Keep picking them up.

Gavin:  (Spreads some toys around on the floor with his foot)  Now can I have this gum?

Me:  (Sitting on the entertainment center, wiping sweat off my forehead, thinking about how I hate the current arrangement) No.  You need to pick up all of your toys and then you can have the gum.

Gavin: (Places his bean bag chair on top of the toys that are on the floor).  Now can I have this gum?

Me:  No.  Your toys aren't picked up.

Gavin:  But I can't pick them up, they're under the bean bag.  (Clever, kid.)

Me:  (Moving the chair to the other side of the room)  Then move the bean bag and pick them up.

Gavin:  (Moves the bean bag and picks up two action figures)  Now can I have this gum?

Me:  No.  You need to pick up all of your toys.  Every single toy needs to be picked up before you can have that piece of gum.

Gavin:  Okay, Momma.

*Repeat previous conversation 33 times in the next 45 minutes while I continue to contemplate the current furniture arrangement, decide I hate it, and try five different ones before I finally settle on the first arrangement.  Once I have everything where I think I want it (for this month), Gavin places his last toy in the toy bin. 

Me:  Good job, Gavin.  Now you can have that piece of gum!

Gavin:  (Puts the gum in his mouth).

I begin putting all the DVDs and extraneous items in their place, dusting the furniture, and trying to figure out why the damn cable won't work (funny story).  Approximately 5 minutes elapse. Gavin comes over and sits on my lap.

Gavin:  I love my new living room, Mommy.

Me:  Do you like it?

Gavin:  Yes, I like it!  I like my new living room!

Me:  Good!  Wait, where's your gum?

Gavin:  I swallowed it.


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