You're Not the Boss of Me

My kid is smart.  I know all parents say that, and you're probably thinking, "Yeah, yeah.  Every kid is smart."  Well, that's true.  Most kids are pretty freaking smart, and mine is no exception.  I'm concerned that it won't be long before he's smarter than me and then develops a plot to single-handedly take over the world (or at least my house).  Why do I think this?  Well, it would appear that my precious little toddler is becoming really good at two things: 1. manipulation and 2. using my own words and actions against me.

Example #1:  Saying sweet things to get his way.
Ever since Gavin was born, he's been a snuggle bug.  He loves to sit on my lap, sit right next to me at the dinner table, and pretty much follow me everywhere I go.  (I'm really not joking about the everywhere I go thing, either.  It's like having a hungry puppy follow me, nipping at my heels.  I'm still fighting the battle to go to the bathroom alone.  I'm no longer interested in having an audience.  It has ceased to be cute and endearing.)  I love nothing more than being with my kid and getting those snuggles, but he always seems to want attention at the most inconvenient times.

For instance, I will be working on an assignment for the class I'm taking, typing away at my computer, and he decides at that moment that he wants to crawl up in my lap.  When I tell him that he can't, I get these kinds of responses:  But Momma, I love you.  I'm going to miss you if I can't sit on your lap.  I want you to hold me like a little baby, Momma.  And so, like the sucker I am, I give in and snuggle him.  Oh, he uses this trick all the time.  I'm constantly stopping whatever it is I'm doing to give him some love whenever he feels he needs it.

Or, he's been coloring on his toys lately - mostly his Toy Story action figures.  He's trying to mimic the way Andy writes his name on Buzz in the movie, I get that.  But, I've constantly told him that he needs to stop or I'm going to take his toys away.  He'll say to me:  But, Momma, I love writing on my toys.  It makes me so happy.  I don't like to be sad.  What the hell am I supposed to say to that?  (I usually say that he's making his toys sad by writing on them.)

I'm really concerned as to how he's going to use this with the ladies when he gets older.  Sigh.

Example #2: Using my actions against me.
Lately, we've been working on not spitting.  It seems Gavin has mastered this action and likes to test it out a lot.  I continually tell him not to spit, that it's "yucky" and not very nice.  His response:  But, Mommy, you spit when you go running or Mommy, you spit when you brush your teeth.  Both of these facts are true (gross, but true).  I feel like he's saying to me, "Hey, Momma, you're a giant hypocrite!"  No, I don't give in and let him spit whenever he wants, but it does make me stop and think.

Example #3: Using my words against me.
Me: Gavin, I've asked you to stop doing that.  You're making me angry.
Gavin:  You're making me angry, Momma.
Me: Why am I making you angry?
Gavin: Because you said, "You're making me angry."

Me: Gavin, I told you not to do that ("That" is usually hitting the dog, climbing on the counters, cutting up paper, dumping all his toys out into the middle of the room,or various other naughty things.)
Gavin: Well, I told you that I'm not doing it anymore, Momma.  (This is usually followed by a look of disgust.)

Gavin: Momma, it's a red light, you need to stop.  Stop, Momma.  Stop right now!
Me: Gavin, don't be bossy.
Gavin:  Well you boss me.
Me: It's my job.
Gavin:  It's not your job.  You're not the boss of me.

It seems that, no matter what I say, he turns it right around and uses my own words against me.

So, it looks like I'm going to have to find a way to get a whole lot smarter in a hurry!