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Sunday, November 6, 2011

Gavin's First Story

In my mind, I picture Gavin growing up to be an engineer or a baseball player or maybe a baseball-playing engineer.  I'm fine with any of them, really.  However, I never pictured him as an author.  But, after reading his first story that he wrote at preschool the other day, I'm thinking it might be a potential career path.

Now, when I say he wrote his first story, I mean he told it to his teacher, and she wrote it down.  (We're still working on the name-writing thing, people.  Give me break, will you?)  The topic of the story that each child was writing was "A Puppy Story."  Given the fact that there are three mangy dogs running around our house, Gavin had a lot of material to work with.  Hence, his story went like this:

Gavin's Puppy Story

I almost died laughing when I read it, not because it's a complete work of fiction but because it's completely TRUE.  You see, our lovable, gentle, sweet, adorable labrador, Dan, (Dan, not Charlie.  Charlie is possibly the spawn of the devil), has one or two bad habits.  One of them is eating things he's not supposed to (a loaf of bread, an entire bag of dog food, twelve sticks of elk jerky with jalapenos).  The other one: escaping.

Behind our house, there is a field.  Nothing special, just a field.  A field in which cats and squirrels run free. For years, Dan has found ways to escape the backyard and roam the field.  This wasn't a problem until recently.   A year or so ago, someone in our small neighborhood bought the field, and they fenced it in.  No big deal, except that the entire field can only be accessed from their house.

A month or two ago, I sent all the dogs in the backyard to, well, act like dogs for awhile - you know, play outside and whatnot.  Thirty minutes later, Arnie and Charlie are at the door, but Dan is nowhere in sight.  Why?  Because my 7-year-old lab with all kinds of hip and elbow dysplasia that has required multiple surgeries and expensive supplements decided to jump the five-foot tall fence and play in the field.  By play I mean chase a cat or two and roll around in some shit.  Really, he always finds a pile of shit and rolls in it.

This meant that I had to get Gavin in the car, drive around to my neighbor's house, knock on their door, trapse through the field, find the naughty dog, stick his shit-covered doggy self in the back of my car, drive home, give him a bath, and clean out my car.  No big deal, really, until he did it again the very next day.  And the day after that.  And the day after that.

Not two days ago, he jumped the fence to frolic around the field with another dog.   By the time I got there to search for him, he was gone.  Nowhere to be found.  After talking to my neighbor, he said he had seen Dan back there playing with his neighbor's dog.  He called his neighbor, and his dog was back home safely.  Dan: missing.  So, after searching the field, I returned to my car and slowly drove back home, keeping my eyes peeled for Dan.  I was a little panicked thinking I lost him.  But, moments later, there he was - tied to someone's tree eating a bowl of food and drinking water.  Embarrassed, I knocked on the door, and when the lady answered, I said, "Um.  Hi.  So, that's my dog right there."  Then, I proceeded to tell him what a naughty dog he was the whole way home.
Look, I feel really guilty.  Can't you see it in my face?

Now, you're probably thinking, "You silly people! Find a way to keep him from jumping the fence," or, "You silly people! Stop leaving the dog outside."  Well, we tried to find ways to keep him from jumping the fence.  And he's outsmarted us every time.  Damn smart dog.  As far as not leaving him outside - did I mention there are three dogs.  If they're in the house all the time, I will go (more) insane.

I continue to offer any of my dogs to everyone I know, but no one's biting.  I even offer to let them take one for FREE.  How can you pass that up?  At this point, my other solution involves a concrete wall and a moat, but I think we might try a different type of fence first.  Which is too bad because I was really hoping for a moat.


  1. Love Gavin's story. I'm also sorry to hear that you are living with a couple of escapees. I had one like that. If you have kids and they are able to open doors, there is nothing you can do about it. They will head for the hills! The moat sounds cool!

  2. Love that little guy's story! I also love that your dogs have real people names instead of doggie names. It's cute... my poor dog was not so lucky and carries the name "rerun" -- I wish I'd made a better decision!

  3. I love that story - how kids at this age like to tell "true" stories. (-:
    And the photo of your dog - THE GUILTY PARTY.
    Your son is gonna grow up and be a dog catcher. (-:

  4. I loved Gavin's story. I have to admit sometimes I get silly and tell things like that, I feel proud of my self for it he he he

    visiting from lovelinks

  5. Hilarious. And love that your son captured the situation so succinctly.

  6. Awwww! So cute! I love puppy stories. Gavin did a great job describing what happens. I felt like I was right there in the action!

  7. That dog pic is priceless! He certainly does look like the puppy that escaped! Your son is a journalist in the making :)

  8. Aww, Gavin's story rocks!

    As for the dog, I have one of those escape artists too. She is a husky mix, and she is the only dog we couldn't ever train. She's run off a bunch of times, so we can't let her outside without a leash. We've gotten two long chains and hooked them together and tied around a tree, so when she's outside, she still has a bit of room to roam around, but she can't get away. Have you tried something like that? Good luck!

  9. That story is very cute. Your dogs remind me of mine! I try to give him away all the time, but no one is taking me up on the offer :-)

  10. I'm not taking the dogs, but I am saying that's a mighty fine piece of prose there. Mighty fine. And most fiction has some truth to it, don't you think?

  11. Awe... that was awesome!! He did a fabulous job!

  12. I heart labs. We lost our black one two years ago. I can't imagine three dogs!!