All I want is five minutes. That's it. Just five minutes. Five little minutes so I can just pee in peace. But, I'm thinking that the only way this is going to happen is if I build a secret bathroom that no one else knows about. Okay, and so maybe I'd like twenty minutes instead of five . . . you know, so I can shower in peace, too.
Ever since Gavin could crawl, my time in the bathroom hasn't been my own. I thought that, as he got older, it would get better, but it hasn't. Before, I would have to take him in the bathroom with me while I showered so I could keep an eye on him. Now, he's more than capable of staying in the living room and playing with his toys while I shower, but that doesn't happen. It seems that once I turn that water on, he suddenly has a million things he needs to ask me, tell me, or show me. And, he has no problem flinging open the bathroom door and ripping back the shower curtain in order to do so.
The other day, the toy ad from Target came. I gave it to Gavin to look at, telling him that we would go through it together when I got out of the shower. I barely had my hair wet when the shower curtain went flying back, and there stood Gavin with the toy ad, pointing to something he liked. I said, "Okay, honey, we'll look at that when I get out of the shower." He left, only to return 30 seconds later to show me something else. And then 30 seconds after that, and 30 seconds after that.
Things like this happen every time I get in the shower. Suddenly, Gavin can't find his shoe or one of the 16 Lightening McQueen cars he owns, he can't open his juice box and he's dying of thirst, he's starving and needs to know if he can have a granola bar, or he really has to go potty and can't remember that we have another bathroom he can use. The list goes on and on, and none of these things can wait six minutes while I finish shaving my legs. They are urgent matters that must be dealt with right this very second.
I've thought about locking the doors to the bathroom when I shower, but invariably I would only lock one and not the other or the house would catch on fire or Gavin would simply sit there and pound on the door thereby ruining my 20 minutes of peace and quiet.
The problem is that this doesn't only happen when I shower. I can't even get three minutes to pee without being interrupted. As soon as I shut the bathroom door, Gavin suddenly realizes he has to go potty or needs something. No matter how many times I tell him, "Mommy goes potty by herself," the door still comes flying open 10 seconds after I shut it. I even go down to the basement to use the bathroom down there. I tiptoe down the stairs. I don't even turn the basement lights on. He still finds me. In less than 30 seconds.
So, while many people imagine having their own private island to escape the general public, I just want a secret bathroom where I can have anywhere between three and twenty minutes to myself. It doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?
Get thee to an independent bookstore.
1 hour ago