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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Just Chill Out, Momma

Yesterday, I took Gavin to a Tigers game.  It's our second game together this season, but it was his first night game.  I've actually been to the stadium three times this summer, but somehow I manage to get lost every time.  Well, not lost exactly.  I take the wrong exit, turn the wrong way, and end up on a street I don't want to be on.  The funny thing is that I take the same wrong exit, turn the same wrong way, and end up on the same wrong street.  Every.  Single.  Time. 

Gavin had been fast asleep in his car seat right up until the point where I was taking the wrong exit.  (It's a good thing he slept, too because, as luck would have it, there was a major traffic jam on the drive there.  I love traffic.)  Just as I'm figuring out that I once again took the wrong exit, Gavin starts chanting, "I wanna see the baseball game.  I wanna see the baseball game.  I wanna see the baseball game."  So, I turned around and said to him, "Okay, honey.  I need you to be quiet for just a second.  We're lost, and I have to figure out where to go."  (Oh, and I really did say this calmly, which is weird because normally traffic plus getting lost makes me want to punch the driver in the next car.  Road rage?  Me?  No!)

His response:  "Mommy, you just chill out.  You just be quiet for a minute so I can figure out where to go.  Hmm . . . (dramatic pause) . . . I think that you should go left and then right.  Go left and then right, okay, Momma?"

So, I said, "Okay, Gavin, I'll go left and then right."  Except that I couldn't go left because I was on a one-way divided highway, but whatever.  I just wanted him to be quiet.  And why do I have to chill out?  I'm not even worked up!

But, he didn't stop.  "So, you just chill out, Momma.  It'll be okay.  Go right and then left and then we'll be at the baseball game.  Okay?"

Okay, Gavin.  So, the good news is that we made it to the game in plenty of time.  (FYI, we went right and then right.  Not left and then right.  He didn't notice, though.)

However, this brings me to another issue: vendors.  Not the people that walk up and down the aisles screaming, "Ice cold beer," or "Hot dogs!  Get your hot dogs!"  No, I'm talking about the concession stands.  Why can't every concession stand carry the same stuff?  Why can you only get cotton candy at this one and corn dogs at the other one?  What if I want corn dogs AND cotton candy?

Well, that was exactly my dilemma yesterday.  I wanted nachos.  Gavin wanted a corn dog and fries.  He wanted fruit punch.  I needed a beer.  Could I stand in just one line and get everything?  No.  I had to go to three separate vendors.  Three.  First, I got the nachos and the drinks.  Then, I got the beer and the fries.  All I needed was a corn dog and we could make it to our seats without disaster.  But, no, that would be too easy, now wouldn't it?  You know what would have been really easy?  If one place had everything.  That would be easy.  Which is probably exactly why they don't.

So, I'm standing in my third line, holding a drink/food carrier with the nachos, fries, and drinks.  Of course, Gavin can't just stand there patiently; he needs to demand sips of his fruit punch and bites of french fries every 30 seconds.  At one point, he decided he would just help himself to my nachos.  He reached his hand up, and where did it go?  In the cheese.  Right.  In.  The.  Cheese.  Oh, I had napkins.  Under the nachos.  But, I couldn't get them because I only have two hands.  (Weird, I know.)  Luckily, the guy in front of me grabbed some napkins and handed them to Gavin (all while giving me an "Oh You Poor Thing" look).

All in all, despite the melted chocolate on my shirt and the floor of the car, it was a good time.  I look forward to our next game, and getting lost again . . .


  1. That's too funny. "You just chill out, Momma. Just chill out." Funny how that sort of thing actually has the opposite effect, isn't it? From chill to infuriated in a second. I'm glad you had fun. Those vendor things are ridiculous. I've given up on getting stuff. Too much hassle! If they consolidated, I'm betting they'd get EVEN MORE business. You might be standing there, wanting to purchase a hot dog, and then, seeing a customer's purchase next to you, decide to go ahead and throw a pretzel in there as well. Ridiculous.

  2. You two partners in crime are pretty hilarious. I agree with you about the concession stands making everyone jump through hoops to create a full and balanced meal (Ha!) with the beer of course! It's no easy task carrying all that stuff around...let alone stand in lines. Great post. Glad you two had fun. Next time I get in the car, could you send Gavin over. I'm always lost!

  3. Hello I am a new GFC fan from VoiceBoks. Please visit me back at My 2 Cents

    Thank you
    Your story sounds like a nightmare of a good time,lol. 8-)

  4. Enjoyed your post! Sounds like we have a lot in common-both moms, teachers, and lovers of baseball!New follower via VB